The last time in my own life I can remember such a steady feeling of unease regarding my future was the moment, over a decade ago, when a neurologist told me I not only had multiple lesions on my brain but that my recent challenges were in fact multiple sclerosis. That easily was the most dark period of time in my life as I tried my best to navigate what my life looked like today, and more importantly what it would, or could, look like in 20 years.
I chose to not lie there hugging my knees and just give up but to fight. Fight for a life I love. Fight for a marriage of support and openness. Fight for a family, which now includes our sweet girl and I love helping to shape her future alongside ours. I could have ridden the wave of positivity and confidence throughout all of our lives. Little did I realize that uncertainty is the only certainty there is and I needed to navigate my own thoughts around an evolving and ever changing world.
Having MS, I have learned to embrace the challenges I have needed to confront head-on, often times very unexpectedly. I learned the lesson pretty early on that this was a disease that would always need me to think as positively as I could if I was not going to let it hold me down. I never have imagined in a million years that I would experience the challenges our world is experiencing right now. I feel as though the world has been shook and I am feeling uneasy and disheartened walking a tightrope rope of doubt as to what is coming next.
Being immune compromised has led me to research exactly what this all means to me and taking into consideration any and all recommendations for living safely with MS in this COVID world. I understand the precautions that need to be taken in everyday life and the interactions my family has with people outside of our immediate family. It is one thing for my husband and I to understand the necessities of staying safe and somewhat quarantined during these difficult times, but it has been a very heavy realization for my 6 year old. She doesn’t understand why this summer has looked so different than summers that came before in her very limited little life. It is hard to explain to her realistically without instilling unnecessary fear into her life.
We need to remain positive throughout whatever else this world can throw at us, even though it seems hard to imagine that there is anything else. Someone once said, it has to get better, you can’t fall off the floor!