Right when you feel like you’ve mastered one challenge you have a new one that surprises you unexpectedly. I was aware of some recent cognitive challenges I was having but being quite literally “tested” is quite the emotional and eye-opening experience. I was never the perfect straight A student in school but I have always given every single class my greatest effort. I didn’t think this would be anything different.
I’m not sure if I am happy not completely delving into every cognitive issue I have – we all, have them, right? So I had become accustomed to laughing it off as a normal mistake that can happen to anyone. Well, it is normal now, it’s my new normal.
I recently had two sessions with a Neuropsychologist and while I believe he was the best person I could have seen in his field, I still thought it was hilarious when one of the tests involved him asking me to read a list of simple words back to him right after he read them. It was actually laughable! I promise that I am completely present and tuned in to only him……but what the hell did he just say? “Oh I know!” I would hold on to that one simple word, like, carrot, as if it was the last one I would hear. I would get all in my head and proud of myself and as soon as he asked me to repeat the words I would get all egotistical like I’m gonna ace this! “Carrot”. A huge smile on my face and then he would still be looking at me and say “what were the other words in the list?” Whaaaaaaat?! Oh no. While I was blissfully remembering the word carrot, he had also said 10 more words! Oh no, let’s try again, I will get these. And then he would read the list to me another two times and each time I would pick up a couple more.
Great…..so if people can repeat themselves 4-5 times during a conversation I should remember at least half of it. Fantastic. I am able to laugh about this now because I know that this gave me a new drive to reach a new goal cognitively. I will work toward it everyday. So, if you ever have to repeat yourself to me (or any person living with MS) please be patient and believe you are relevant, I do care and I am listening. 💜